Day To Day in LA With Lindsay

The Day I Really Missed My Friends...

I don’t know what it is, but today I’ve been feeling very melancholy.  It seems like everything that’s been mentioned that’s been mentioned has made me think of everyone I miss back home.  Tonight it all came to a head when I saw pictures Leigh had posted of our late friend LP along with old photos of her an I and I realized just how much I miss the people that make home..home.

I don’t even know where to start really.  It’s like Indianapolis has been haunting me today.  Haunted sounds bad, but I guess it would be like a Casper haunting.  Like I’m walking around a corner and I see something that’s not there, but it’s pleasant.  That made sense to me at least. I hope you’re not lost.

I read today that in Minnesota a theater group is putting up “Little House on the Prairie: The Musical.”  Immediately I thought of Leigh and Whitey, the dogs and the times we had at our old place.  The candy party.  When we had our own little Christmas.  LP busting through the door at any time.  Sharing a bathroom with three other people, but it somehow being ok.  Good times with the mac.  Hair cuts.  Beer.  Theater.  Living, breathing theater at times.  Always creative.  My bohemia family.  My stage sister.  I miss you.

I listened to the radio today and of course Kelly Clarkson came on.  Usually, I would change it, well okay, not usually but sometimes, but today it just put a smile on my face because all I could think of was sitting on the floor of Donny’s apartment while he played me music and asked me if I liked it while nodding his head.  It sent my head to memories that hadn’t even been touched when he was driving with me out here on our last harah.  I thought of his old green shirt and me unsuccessfully trying to nickname him Dishrag Donny because of it in 4th grade.  REACH for a week.  Of our walks on the canal.  Pizza and beer. Talbott Street.  ”Any Way You Want It, That’s the Way You Need It.” Meeting new friends together.  Eating Subway or McDonalds in the Hyatt food court.  Our birthdays.  The tattoos that one day we’ll get for one another.  Your aunt. Your mom. Your cousin.  Your whole damn family! I miss you my platonic life partner.

Last night I started to go back to blonde.  In the first stage it was orange.  I toned it this morning.  It’s still kind of orange, but it’s getting there just needs some highlights.  Obviously, my mind immediately went to Ashley.  I’m very lucky to have had to opportunity to have been able to become great friends in such a short time with her.  When I met her the first time I thought she was standoffish and not my type of friend in the slightest.  She thought the same.  I’m glad we proved on another wrong.  The Butler Inn.  Staying late at the salon to see how blonde we could get your damn hair.  Staying up until 4:30 AM just talking and smoking too many cigs (that goes for Leigh too).  Heartbreak in many many ways.  Getting breakfast for free before work.  The Slippery Noodle Night (although I try to forget it).  I miss you Ashrey.

Then there’s the family.  I don’t think I can go there.  This is already getting longer by the minute and if I start on them I’ll be here all night.  Right now I just want to say thank you to them for everything in my life that is good.  Without all of you I would not be who and where I am today.  

If you’re still reading at this point I just want you to know I miss you too if you haven’t been mentioned yet.  Dani and I going to the orchard or getting stuck on a median, grabbing lunch, analyzing the world around us at every chance, radio shows, REALLY working out this summer.  I thought of your rat tail and Butler Inn nights today Kris Messer, I’m glad we’re neighbors now. Lauver and Sarah and Lockerbie, I’m glad we survived.  Anyone who ever sang along to the Juke Box with me.  Jeff, the best bartender in the dirty Nap.  The Hoaglin bunch and the disfunction we called normalcy.  Jan Lucas and the confidence she gave me.  Broad Ripple Bagel Deli, Indy CD and Vinyl, YATS! Dodge Ball Parties, McNivens, Sushi nights, so much, so many, you too.

Cheese fest 2008 is drawing to a close.  I spent so much time consumed with trying to get out of my midwestern bubble that sometimes I think I rushed through everything too quickly.  I’ve found there is no replacements for those I found back there, and I don’t want there to be, but in the same vein, I hope I’m not too busy missing all of you to take the time to embrace the memories and greatness I can find out here too.  Wish me luck.  You’re a hard bunch to  forget for even a moment.

Fuckers. 

The Day I Counted The Locations of My Poison Ivy

Not to beat a dead horse, but somehow my poison itchy has spread even more! Last night as I tried to pass out by taking good ol’ Benadryl I really didn’t think it possible for this damn rash to spread even further.

Boy, was I wrong. The places I’ve found itchy bumps now include, but are not limited to, mind you:

• Back (the original location of origin)
• Side (think bra line area)
• Chest (completely covered and certain not to skip the boobage)
• Cleavage (yes a body part all it’s own)
• Neck (front back sides, you name it)
• Behind ears
• Inside, yes! Inside my ears
• Cheeks
• Eye sockets (The skin not the actual eyes yet thank God)
• Nose
• Nostrils, it’s in my freakin nostrils (I’m not going to deny I pick my nose on occasion but come on!)
• The itchiest have to be the bumps on my chinny chin chin (these little effers are starting to blister)

Luckily it hasn’t made my eyes swell shut or ventured to my nether regions yet, and don’t even think I’m going to let it. As soon as the clock strikes one I am high tailing it to one of the many urgent care facilities that I have so heartily tried to get in contact with all morning. Apparently they don’t understand the full meaning of urgent (or care for that matter).

I hope, but cannot promise, this will be my last entry pertaining to the itchy nastiness that has become my skin. If all goes as planned it will be put under the control of many a prescribed substance today.

Just be grateful you’re not Jeremy. He’s had to live with my winey, A1 smelling (my cream/spray smells like A1 steak sauce) bumpy ass for the past two days. Always the optimist, last night he proclaimed -‘Well, it can’t get any worse.’ I’m sorry to say, you were proven oh so wrong J.

The Day I Got Poison Ivy By Thinking About It

First of all, I just sneezed raspberry all over my white bath robe. Literally. This is how it went down.

Pop in mouth. Chew chew chew:::Tickle in nose:::ACHOO! All over the chest and white robe. They’re messy little buggers each of the little seed pockets flying in all different directions. But that’s neither her nor there.

This past week has been a rush but fantastic. Two good friends of Jer and mine, well Jer’s first and I adopted them, came to town and it’s funny because whenever people come here I realize LA can be really cool you just have to get out there and do stuff. Unfortunately, the only time you can get out there to do stuff consistently is when you take time off of work because, well, people are in town.

That said, we did a lot of cool stuff. The first night we climbed some rocks at the Malibu beach leo carillo, next day we hit the beach in Santa Monica and got our ass handed to us by some huge waves followed by the Dodger game, we saw Foxy Wednesday, did some bowling, or as I like to call it “Lindsay throwing a ball really hard in no apparent direction,”and for the last two days we headed up to Big Bear to spend some time with a bunch of people in a cabin, er chalet, in the mountains.

It was freezing. I’m not just saying cold as a pussy Californian either. It was legitimately fah-reezing. You can ask the people from Chicago visiting effing cold, but I digress.

Despite the conditions and me almost killing all four of us driving in zero visibility fog through the curvy curvy mountain roads on the way up, we made the best of the situation. Well, kind of. I drank entirely too much the first night, after being so freaked out by the drive up and passed out, literally, in the shower. Word to the wise, lots of LQ mixed with hot tub then cold then hot shower might make your eyes roll into the back of your head. Just saying.

The next day, I was as hung over as could be expected, but we ate some down home cooked grub at a cute restaurant in town that made me feel a bit better but no less slap happy. We then went to the rim of the world that had an amazing view, when the clouds weren’t in the way, tried to paddle boat but luckily Ashley realized with the rest of us that is was too damn cold, walked around some shops then got some grub to grill out that night.

We left early the next morning to get the guests onto their LAX flight, and it was sad to see them go, but it’s nice to have normalcy back. The only problem is I somehow am now covered in poison ivy. When I say covered I mean it started on my back wrapped around both ways to my boobs and chest up my neck and this morning it decided to visit my face.

It’s slowly starting to blister in certain places, mostly my back, and has been at the height of the itchy today. To state the obvious, it’s annoying. However, the most annoying thing isn’t that I can’t weir a bra, tell the difference between ivy and zits on my face or the fact that I can’t rest my chin on my hand without the possibility of an ivy bubble popping on it. Oh no, it’s that I have no idea how I got it.

Like I said earlier, the mountain was cold, and no we didn’t get frisky in the forest despite what the location of my rash could suggest. Really, I was completely covered head to toe nearly burka style the entire weekend. The only time my back was exposed was in the hot tub, which didn’t seem to be the best mantained jucuzzi but it also didn’t have ivy growing around it either.

In reality, poison ivy came to mind was when I saw a plant that looked like it had three leaves when walking to the cabin from the car. I thought, “Oh that looks like it could be poison ivy. Good thing I’m across the street from it and completely covered.” Then, one more time when we got home I was watching King of Queens, don’t ask me why, it was an obvious lack of judgement (ok I’ll admit, I kind of like it), and they were stuck in the woods and the big dude said “Look out, leaves of three let it be.”

Therefore, the only logical answer to my quandry of where the hell did this shit come from is that I thought about more than I have for a while so my body decided to remind me what it’s like to be uncomfortable in any position no matter what for, hmmmm I’ll say a week.  That’s right, I thought it into fruition.   Seriously, it’s the only explanation I can think of.

The Day I Chased A Mail Carrier

By the time it was noon I had already had a full day today and was really ready to kick back, relax, maybe go to the beach.  Unfortunately, part of the reason it was a full day by then was because I had to get to work by one.

This morning I woke up at 7:00 thinking I would be needing to get to the post office by 8:00 then to the DMV by 9:00 at the latest.  Why the post office you ask?  Well, dear friend, because my birth certificate was waiting there having been lovingly mailed by my dad two days prior.  I hadn’t been home to sign for it the day before so..you get the point.  

Arriving at the post office at 9:00 (realizing it wasn’t open at 8:00 I cleaned the kitchen instead. Look at me being all grown up and not going back to bed) I waited in line then finally made it to the counter only to be regretfully told my package was already in a mail truck scooting down San Fernando.  They told me his approximate location and said just find the truck ask if his name’s Tony and get my package.

 So I went on my way exasperated, driving like a bat out of Hell, probably looking like some sort of meth head, when I spotted it…He had his turn signal on..he was about to pull into traffic and I was afraid I’d lose him for forever (not of course thinking of how fast mail trucks usually travel).  I zoomed up next to him blocking him in, honking my horn and looking at him crazy eyed mouthing “Are you Tony?”

 He was.  I apologized for acting the way I did explaining I couldn’t handle three trips to the DMV in a week and a half ( I had already been the week before, but after being told I owed them $600 I left to cry…and, well cry)  and that I had to have it to get my license. 

9:30-I speed my way to the DMV with my Indiana license plate rattling away in my back window as I had removed it before leaving the house (they make you give it back which makes me kind of sad) Finally there I wait in line again.  It was a hot day today and the waiting room was ripe.  I myself was probably adding to the oder as my Ziggy Stardust t-shirt now has prevalent pit stains, but that’s neither here nor there.  Finally they tell me (B080) to go to desk twenty where I promptly paid the a total of $610 for my plates and license that I had yet to attain.

10:00- “Go to desk 8 to get your picture taken then proceed to the testing area”

10:05- ” Take off your glasses.  Do you want to maybe brush your hair over?  No the other side. Okay put your bag down. Stand up straight.  Smile!  Go to the testing area.” 

10:30- Finished the test.  Stood at the desk staring at the people ignoring me until they took it back.

10:40- “Lindsay Hobeart! Lindsay Hobeart!  Do you have an out of state license?”

Nod, hand it to her.  She promptly punches a hole in it and hands it back to me.

“You passed.  Go to desk 6.” (which was surprisingly hard to find).  When I found it I was told to go to the end off the line.  This line even riper than the last. I wait.

11:00- Desk 6. She looks confused. Uh Oh. ” They didn’t give you a license?”

Shake my head.

More confused looks.

11:30- She prints out a piece of paper. “Here. You have temporary license until Sacramento mail you one.”

“You’re positive it will get mailed?”  She didn’t seem so confident.

“Yes.  You just keep that til it do.”

“Okay.”

Noon.  3 lines, 4 desks, $620 and 3 hours later I walk from the Glendale DMV completely defeated, broke and smelling like the really cheap gym I joined when I was living in Broad Ripple all for a paper license and a California license plate.

  I kinda miss my Indiana one.

1:00- Time for work.